Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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