You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize