In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Randomize
