After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
