Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
