Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
