No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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