OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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