I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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