Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
my poor anus
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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