Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
