Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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