Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
