yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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