More tranny stories later!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize