I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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