I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
