I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
