i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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