yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
