i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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