Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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