My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
