just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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