just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
