Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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