At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
