no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
