I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize