I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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