i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize