Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
