i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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