i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
