hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
