so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
