I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
