He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
