Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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