love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
