Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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