Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
