I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
