dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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