butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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