so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
