First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
