my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
