we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
