One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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