Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
