whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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