I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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