Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
