What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
