I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
