He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
