I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
