i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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