hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
