I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
