Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
