Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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