Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
