Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
