Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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