he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
