You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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