He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
