I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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